ONE of the African folklores I find most
fascinating is the one concerning the transmutation of monkeys from
complete animals to semi-human beings. According to this folklore,
monkeys were once
As the story goes, in the wake of
creation, monkeys became envious of human beings and approached God to
change their nature so that they would become men. God obliged the
monkeys by giving them a jar of water they should bath with after seven
days.
They took the water home and guarded it
jealously as they awaited their day of transformation with bated breath.
On the sixth day, however, they were consumed by the excitement of
turning into human beings within 24 hours.
As they gathered around the jar,
drumming, singing and dancing, one of them erroneously kicked it and
spilled its contents. Not willing to see their entire dream collapse,
they scooped whatever they could to wash their hands, legs and faces.
The parts they washed became like those of human beings. There is yet
another tale about monkeys that is less popular, but equally
instructive. A man who was very fond of his monkey requested the monkey
to go with him to the market. The monkey declined, citing the fact that
the sight of him in the market place would cause a stir.
“No,” the owner said. “I will dress you
up so well that no one would know that you are a monkey. You will only
need to conduct yourself well enough not to give away your identity. I
assure you that no one will call you a monkey if you don’t call yourself
one.” With those assuring words, the monkey agreed to go to the market
with its owner, dressed up so well that no one suspected it was a
monkey. They moved from one stall to another without any incident until
they got to the stall of banana sellers and the monkey lost all sense of
decorum.
The monkey’s owner was still haggling
with the seller when the monkey grabbed a bunch of bananas and started
running. His action drew everyone’s attention. Its cap fell off as it
ran and everyone started yelling, “It is a monkey! It is a monkey!”
The Senior Special Assistant to
President Goodluck Jonathan on Public Affairs, Dr. Doyin Okupe, would
seem to have toed the line of the errant monkey when he called a press
conference shortly after the Independent National Electoral Commission
(INEC) announced the registration of the All Progressives Congress (APC)
in July last year, declaring eloquently, emphatically and unambiguously
that Nigerians should call him a bastard if the APC did not collapse
like a pack of cards within one year. His word has since become his
albatross. The APC did not only survive one year, it held a presidential
primary that has become a reference point in the conduct of elections
in Nigeria. As would be expected, the reactions in the social and
traditional media have been massive. Nigerians have been falling head
over heel to ratify the new name publicly adopted by the the President’s
special assistant. But as a Yoruba man who knows the extent to which
the tribe loathe the word, I am persuaded that it must have taken more
than forces within Okupe’s control to publicly embrace the prospect of
being called an illegitimate child when there have been cases of Yoruba
men who committed suicide just because they found that they were
products of matrimonial infidelity. The foregoing, added to his recent
act of blasphemy in comparing a desperately failing president with
Christ, qualify him for public sympathy rather than the wave of
condemnation that has become his lot.
While he has pleaded to be called a
bastard, the discerning public should weigh the implication of the
suicidal request before pandering to it. It is enough misfortune that a
man who spent the early part of his adult life training as a medical
doctor would only find fulfilment in acting as the attack dog of a
failing president, so much so that he would not even recognise a
stethoscope now if he sees one.
Like a dead clock that is correct twice
in a day, there are positive lessons to be learnt from the seemingly
reckless utterances of the special assistant. If nothing else, they
offer an insight into the past time of the most of the presidential
aides who reckless adulation of their boss are now holding him up as the
new Christ, without regard for God and without respect for Christians.
Their act would seem to lend credence to the saying that he who the gods
want to kill, they first make mad.
In their desperation to tell the
President only that which would gladden his heart, his aides
deliberately misread the social and political barometers of the nation,
feed him with falsehood and give him the impression that a paradise is
evolving while the nation is set on the path of perdition. Rather than
tell him the truth about the parlous state of affairs, they read his
mood and tell him what he would like to hear. By so doing, they present
themselves to the President bearers of good tidings and not agents of
doom. Okupe’s utterances could also have resulted from frustration: the
kind of verbal accident that occurs when a man is overwhelmed by the
task of marketing to millions of people a product which in itself is not
marketable. Be it as it may, Okupe deserves our collective sympathy and
forgiveness because two wrongs, as they say, do not make a right.
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